Seeking: A verb to go with our noun (Main noun too far from main verb)

 Writing, especially journalistic writing, should be straightforward. It shouldn't require the skills of a detective to find the subject and verb of a sentence.

But alas, every once in a while the main noun and main verb of a sentence end up so far separated from each other that it's hard to determine which verb the main noun is meant to be partnered with.

Luckily, issues with a main noun being too far from a main verb are easily fixed. Most of the time the fix is as simple as cutting out a few unnecessary words in the sentence.

Here's an example from a New York Times article discussing how certain fish eaten in Thailand are host to a parasite that can cause cancer:

The raw fish that is so avidly consumed in the stilt houses that sit among rice paddies and wetlands of the country’s northern provinces contain parasites that can accumulate in the liver and lead to a deadly cancer.

Let's ignore for the moment that the writer switched from referring to fish as singular (fish that is) to plural (The raw fish....contain, rather than contains). A second issue in this sentence is that the main noun, fish, is too far from the main verb, contain. The sentence tries to paint a detailed picture of the environment in which the first is eaten, but in doing so creates a rift between the two most important elements of the sentence.

The sentence can be fixed just by cutting out a few words:

The raw fish that is so avidly consumed in the country's northern provinces contains parasites that can accumulate in the liver and lead to a deadly cancer.

We maintain the point that the fish is eaten frequently throughout the provinces, but without losing the connection between the main noun and the main verb.

While it's good to add in details to make your writing more colorful, make sure that those details don't overshadow the important parts of your sentences. It's crucial that the reader be able to connect the main noun and main verb of a sentence without getting lost in the middle because there's too much separation between the two elements.



Fuller, Thomas. "In Thailand, Love of Food Carries Deadly Risks." The New York Times. http://www.nytimes.com/2011/04/26/world/asia/26iht-thailand.html?ref=world. 25 April 2011.